its still the same now. whats the difference. so much for my high hopes and anticipation. That one moment of joy was worth it, but it was too short for me to truly feel happy.

thank you simone(: youre the best. you were the only one who made me feel important today.

AH CRAP. i feel stupid and somewhat second to everyone else. I dont think im important. I think im a stupid kid and since I used to be the only, i was first, but now a new kid comes in and now there are two of us. Im second. Im last. Im sad. Somehow I can never be the best at anything. I want to ___, but now nat thinks im weird. my hopes shall just be crushed one after another. Only my hope in the Lord stands firm. Help me Lord.

when people feel sad they cry. I feel sad. I cry. but i still feel stupid and i feel like i lost to some new kid and i feel like a LOSER. i'll just give in okay. New kid can win it all, I know i've got no chance anymore.